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Songs

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Songs are normally sung by Angry Grandpa when he is happy or doing something such as cooking.  He has sung different songs throughout his YouTube channel.

Collard Greens Edit

Collard Greens, Collard Greens

I'm gonna eat me some!

If you want to help me than just...whatever

[pause]

Collard greens cooking on an open fire!

Collard greens are gonna make me fart!

I'll dump in the toilet

Collard Greens! Collard Greens!

And you will find it in your heart!

Love Me Tender Edit

Love me tender, love me true!

All my dreams fulfilled!

Clean my kitchen you dumb fucking bitch!

Also I don't have to do it either!

Clean my kitchen! Clean my kitchen! Get up off your ass!

Cuz if you don't, you go grab the broom, and stick it up your ass!

Hot Dog TonightEdit

Gonna be a hot dog tonight, a hot dog tonight for sure!

Little bit of mustard, a little chili too

Goes in the belly and I know what to do!

It's Good News Week! Edit

It's good news week!

Grandpa broke some glasses somewhere

He got em in the atmosphere

And threw em in the dirt

Michael is so blind! Ah ha ha ha ha!

It's Good News Week! (Westboro Baptist Church) Edit

It's good news week!

Fred Phelps, he died today

I'm not gonna miss him anyway

I'm glad that he is gone!

[pause]

It's good news week!

We don't have to hear your crap!

Save room for your screwy daughter!

She's coming to see you soon!

Have you heard the news?

Fred Phelps is dead! Yeah!

The Worms Edit

The worms crawl in

The worms craw out

They go in your naval and out your mouth!

Fat Michael Edit

Hey Hey Hey!

It's FAAAT Michael!

And I'm gotta sing a song to you!

[pause]

Maybe throw in a pizza for you!

HOO HOO HOO HOO!

You big bellied bitch!

There's always room for jello!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Fuck you BridgetteEdit

Fuck you Bridgette!

Fuck you Bridgette!

Ha Ha Ha!

I'm a happy boy!

Gonna say fuck you Bridgette!

Honestly get out! (Bridgette West)

Celebrate the BurgerEdit

Celebrate! Celebrate!

Celebrate the burger!

Celebrate! Celebrate!

Yeah!

Army SongEdit

I don't know what I've been told.

Eskimo tail is mighty cold.

Sound off, one two three four.

I got a girl in ol' Kentuck.

She can't ride but sure can fuck.

I got a girl in Kansas City.

She's got freckles on her titties.

I'm the Barber!Edit

I'm the barber of Somerville!

[pause]

I'm the barber!

I'm the man!

Gonna cut your hair!

Don't ever make a bet that your ass can't [cash up?]

Cause I'm really busy and I'm cutting your motherf*cking hair!

[pause]

Dad's having the time of his life (Pickleboy)

I'm having the time of my life!

And I owe it all to your dumb ass!

In the GhettoEdit

Angry Grandpa:

"In the ghetto!

Then one night in desperation, Grandpa runs away!

He kisses a fan, drives a piece..."

[pause]

"In the ghetto!

Then one night in desperation, Grandpa packs a bag!

He loads his sheets..."

[pause]

Pickleboy:

"Then one night in desperation, Grandpa hits the bricks!

He packs his shit! He hits the tree!

And baby..."

[pause]

"Then one night in desperation, Grandpa sees Grandma!:

[pause]

"He goes to see her trailer park and..."

[pause]

"Then one night in desperation, Grandpa sees Grandma!

And if anybody says anything on his wall, fuck it!"

[pause]

"Then one night in desperation, Grandpa ran away!"

[pause]

Angry Grandpa:

"He found a home and was alone!

With nothing left to say."

[pause]

"Then Tina cried!"

[pause]

"And if there's that thing that Grandpa don't need!

It's more vagina spiders in the ghetto!"

[pause]

Pickleboy:

"There's one thing Grandpa needs another hungry mouth to feed

In the ghetto"

The Christmas Biscuit SongEdit

I'm gonna eat me a Christmas biscuit

I'm gonna eat me a Christmas biscuit

I'm gonna eat me a Christmas biscuit

From Haaardeees!

Happy GirlEdit

Bridgette:

"I'm just a happy girl, in a happy..."

[pause]

"I'm just a happy girl, in a happy world.

Butterflies..."

[pause]

"I'm just a happy girl, in a happy world..."

[pause; Angry Grandpa is ranting]

Angry Grandpa (ranting):

"What the hell-f*ck is going on?

Goddamn!

I thought someone died in here!

You goddamn can't sing!

Shut the f*ck up!

God damn!

The f*ck."

"Favorite Beatles Song" Edit

I don't wanna spoil the party so I'll go

I would hate my disappointment to show

There's nothing for me here

So I will disappear!

I think I'll take away in with that bitch!

I hope they find her ass in a ditch

[pause]

Been a hard day's night

And I've been strokin' on my heart

It's been a hard day's night

I've sure had one hell of a log

But when I get onto you, I find I'm gonna screw you

You make me feel so good!

Note: This song derives from I Don't Want to Spoil the Party and A Hard Day's Night both by The Beatles.

Shooter Jennings Moonshine Video (Collaboration Song) Edit

Pickleboy

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!

Angry Grandpa

My nuts roasting on an open fire!

Jack Frost nipping at my nuts!

[Pause]

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

Had some very shiny nuts!

[Pause]

I got a dollar!

I got a dollar!

I got a dollar!

Made me want to shit and holler!

[pause]

Dollar! Dollar! Dollar!

I'm gonna shit and holler!

Ha ha ha!

[Pause]

Dollar! Dollar! Dollar!

I've gotta have a dollar!

Find me some tape and put it together anyway!

[Pause]

I like Shooter Jennings moonshine!

I'm gonna drink it Christmas Eve!

I'm gonna sit by the tree

And drink unto me

I'm gonna get so fucked up I can't stand it!

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